Saw this in 11th grade and I have been so enticed since…
Coolest shit ever.
This is awesome!! I’d like to show the boyfriend, but I have a feeling he’d prefer I choose not to… ;-)
This is the coolest thing on the planet! Whatttt. In anatomy we’d pull on the various tendons and watch what happened, but seeing them move independently is SO COOL. :D
TateShots: Grayson Perry, studio visit
“Grayson Perry afforded us the rare opportunity of a visit to his studio in Walthamstow, north-east London. Describing pottery as his gimmick, Perry goes on to show us his process before explaining why he wants people to be able to just enjoy art, rather than having to interpret it.”—Tate
(I adore this man so very, very much. He humbly says he’s got a gimmick, but his work is so incredibly sincere. As an artist he gives such golden words on the art world, on artmaking, and the truth of what you think and feel looking at art when no one’s around.)
I WAS SAD BUT NOW IM NOT
The best sets of my life are on my dash tonight.
this film was done by the reflection of what i feel when playing the violin. when i play, i began to feel useful. it’s when i don’t play the violin that i feel like a waste of space. this was also my first film. i wanted to get the idea on how to make a film. it was one of my main tasks.
5.39am, Thursday, 31st May 2012, America, Trafford.
The dream twisted in sickly faces. Faded monsters lingering in the shadows. A nightmare that the floors were unstable. The sky consumed by pitch-blackness. The air thickened in sickly pollution. James felt trapped in his new nightmare. Pressured by the forceful nature of fear. His struggle to escape seemed impossible until he returned to his bedroom. Waking in his bed with a grateful sigh to notice the nightmare had retreated. Seeing the walls replaced by the darkness of the night. Feeling more secure, James’s muscle relaxed as the sweat stained the bed sheet. Restless from the disturbing images that haunt him. He couldn’t even attempt to fade into sleep. The heat came with harsh vengeance that left the room unbearable. no noise could be heard. Small amount of streetlight sneaking into the bedroom. Nothing was set differently except for the intruder hiding in the dark. James had only become aware of the figure blending into the shadow. Panic struck James like a knife in flesh. A familiar voice purr before James could reach the bedside lamp to violently glow.
“I apologize for my intrusion but you have introduces some danger.”
“Andrew? What are you doing here?” Barely managing to call out Andrew’s name. James was drowning in more unexplained affairs. Andrew stood close to the window with his eyes locked on the road. As if he kept guard on what was expected to came. James was half paralysed in fear from Andrew’s appearance. Still sitting upright on his bed. James’s impatiens triggered him to bleakly target Andrew.
“Andrew, what are you doing in my bedroom?”
“My presence have given you a fatal threat. The cult started to believe your intensions in me are harmful in their cause. I hope it does. I’ve…noticed that they acted into the problem when they found me.” The confusion grew more in James. Feeding his mind to a painful swirl as he rose up next to Andrew. Attempting to look for what Andrew was endlessly glaring at. Nothing was found as unusual. Andrew took a glimpse towards James in his boxers short. Seeing the pieces of fear broken up in James. Part of Andrew had guilt by infecting James with the fear whilst the other part desired to be near him. But Andrew knew what his life could bring James into. The years of torment along with a silent secret which held more danger. It stayed unnoticed for James as Andrew took it as a wanted myth. Hoping it was lies then truth.
James gave up in searching out of his clouded windows. Looking gently at Andrew for the answers to be followed by extra questions. The room staying silent in clean darkness. James’s movement flowed to the ground with the same attempt to dress himself whilst Andrew remained still. Keeping eye on what would course harm. The street had no intensions in showing drastic dangers. But Andrew continued to stay on guard until James had finished covering his bare skin.
Both youngster setting themselves in comfortable positions. James setting himself on the bed whilst Andrew sank into a desk chair. Ready for Andrew to explain his outburst.
“My presence brought a danger to your hospital. Too many innocent lives in a feeble place.”
“So where will you go?”
“That’s unknown to me now. But if I put a distance between me and this populated town, it will grow more safer. Their intensions in me are too grate. I wield their secrets.”
“Your thinking of leaving.”
“Yes. I only came to here to say goodbye.” Andrew’s decision purred softly. Forcing James to see this as a unfair result. The chance to be a close friend had slowly slipped away. Trying to keep the distressing sensation of losing a unknown relationship. Andrew was all happy to leave. Having the idea that his existents was a reflection of torment and suffering. People only wanting the one thing that Andrew refuses to accept. That part of his life hiding in the shadows. James couldn’t see past Andrew to uncover that secret. Unable to unfold the tortured chains which forced Andrew to escape from. James’s words turned weak.
“I don’t know what your story is and I don’t know what to say. I wish I could help you.”
“Don’t say anything. I can be helped by myself through survival. I’m only generous enough to give my farewells to you. You‘ve helped me truly and that will reward you.” Rising to his feet, Andrew retreated to the darkness. His body nearly turning to a blur when he climbed though the window. James had the chance to call out but realised how it wouldn’t change anything. Understanding the mature stubbornness that Andrew was gifted with.
Andrew had delivered his obscure goodbye to James. But James’s conscious had never allowed itself to be silent. Feeding on parts of sorrow and aloneness that would inflict damage. Facing the truth which laughed in deadly chuckles. Repeating that he wouldn’t be in the presence of his lost friend again. James could only go back to the dreamland of changing nightmares. Dreading of what faces he had to fight through. But he didn’t began to notice what could pray onto him. Failing to see the clues in Andrews poetic sentences. The strength of James’s exhaustion had already gripped him. Dragging him into sleep.
9.03am, Wednesday, 30th May 2012, America, Trafford.
Waking to the burning morning light through the blinds. James retrieved the strength to rise out of his bed. Setting his eyes to the daylight. Feeling the heat stroking his flesh smoothly. James rose from his bed in a blurred daze. Finding his room in yesterday’s messy clutter. Taking only the minutes to randomly draw out a t-shirt and a stonewashed pair of jeans. Being ready to repeat his routeing from the start of the day to the end of the day. James prepared the day with expected results. Filling his rucksack with anything that he desired until rushing out of his room. Luckily not to be welcomed by his parents.
Breathing in the scented air with the street going through it’s everyday scene. James could see the small children playing on the road. A neighbour gardening in the front yard. The sun burning onto anything that isn’t hiding behind the shadows. Everything resembled the frequent beauty that was enjoyed by the normal community. James couldn’t bare to stay near it as it was swarmed with the gossip from the start of the holiday. All this started after the time James saved Andrew. Each rumour inhibition the strange young man’s existences that followed from his appearance to James’s involvement. James’s parents seen this as a dangerous involvement. Only attempting to imprint their demands onto James which repeatedly fails.
James approached the hospital in a cheerful tone. Seeing the staff in a workable blur. His frequent visits seduced in a long pile. The start of this came shocking to the staff until it grew out over time. They expected no visitors for a broken, young stranger. As they also accepted to name the young man Andrew. Time had granted that privilege to Andrew. It only took one discussion towards a doctor to change his name. The entire hospital brought the new name to use along with the same gossip from the streets. spying on the two youthful characters to fill their curiosity. Taking each detail.
After getting permission from the reception. James approached Andrew’s room with a jogging speed. Reaching the door as his other hand gripped around the strap from his rucksack. Feeling brave enough to expose his joyful character as he entered slowly. Finding Andrew praying silently to himself. James failed to understand this type of praying. It wasn’t relative to communicate to any related god. Seeing Andrew whispering in a strange trance. Sitting at the end of his bed with plain charity clothing covering his body. James politely interrupted Andrew’s prayer in hoping to get a kind response. Nothing changed when James’s knocks on the door echoed in the room. The silent prayers continued until Andrew’s final words come with a boom to James.
“Welcome.” James had already set himself in a chair. Seeing Andrew awaking from his trace. James saw Andrew’s eyes in a healthier colour that glistened handsomely.
“Want are you doing?”
“Something that isn’t to interesting.”
“It looks interesting.” The slight pause gave a warning before Andrew spat out his own warning.
“Understand this, this should not be played around.” James brought this to a serious level. Taking Andrew’s tone of voice as a straight forward caution. Believing in what was said. James tried to carry the conversation to a safer level.
“How are you feeling?”
“Better. The hospital’s decision to release me is final.”
“But where will you go?” An answerless question appeared out of James. Forcing ideas to build up. But the difficulty to do so turned to an end. Feeling the tightness in his chest squeezing out his heart. This small encounter pressured James in being involved. Andrew was less effected by this as his torment trained him to be more independent. Being able to absorb the dark side of the world. Already tested many times from torturing beatings. James broke the silence.
“Did anyone say anything about this?”
“Their ideas have been noticed to me. They are thinking of putting me in some place as my identity isn’t known. But it’s still in discussion.”
“It’s hard. I don’t know what your thinking.”
“Maybe this event hasn’t repeated too often. Leaving the people to think how to approach the problem.” The discussion was filled with the taste of vileness when the words spread out from their tongues. Stringing with numbness. Andrew wasn’t aware of James’s emotions falling into chaos. Seeing only James’s outer shell unruffled. It brought James the tension to shout out for such a small course that didn’t need to be overreacted. James repeated to force the tension down until it couldn’t be heard. Panicking to find smaller discussions to give Andrew.
“The new cloths fit?”
“Some people are kind enough to prove it.”
“It suits you. Better then the hospital robes.”
“Makes me look normal.” Unable say anything else in time. The convocation twisted to different subject as Andrew purred out his words.
“Tell me about yourself.” Embarrassment flooded James’s face.
“Well, I go to college and…I’m into a band called Disturbed. I don’t know what to say next.”
“How do you live?” The embarrassment grew larger as James felt a collection of guilt by comparing his lucky lifestyle to a tormented one.
“I live with my parents but their mostly out. One is working in different areas to get richer whilst the other is working in this hospital. But it’s good to be alone sometimes as you don’t have them nagging at you twenty four seven.”
“Must be highly difficult. Unable to see your loved ones.”
“Comparing to you. I’m pretty lucky to have all what I have.” Leaving a short break to catch their breaths before Andrew demander more of James.
“Do you have any other relatives?” James’s tone lowered with a hint of depression.
“Grandmother from my father’s side. She’s a little judgmental. Doesn’t care what people think, just pushes her believes onto anyone. Very old fashioned,”
“Is she christen?”
“Yes. She ended up trying to control our families routine. Going to church, believing in god. It didn’t end well.”
“Parents couldn’t take it. So she left but did managed to visits in the holiday. Is there any more you want to know?” A devilish smile cracks from the edges of Andrews lips. Releasing his religious words to James.
“Were you baptised?”
“Yes, I was. Why?”
“Nothing in good interest. Just desiring to absorb your personal knowledge.” The distracted lie purred through the air out of Andrew’s lips. It even succeeded in it’s tasks to mask James’s sight on the affair. The conversation continued along.
“Do you believes in a god?” The reaction came in a ordinary fashion for James.
“What…okay then. To tell the truth, I don’t really believe in anything.”
“Lack of prove.”
“You could say that. But mostly I can’t stand the idea of being controlled.” In a state of deep thinking. Andrew’s stillness alerted James in what the next twisted words could unfold.
“Religion has a way in giving hope to people as it retakes parts of their freedom. Following the same rules of manmade stories that involves powerful characters. Each one repeating the same message of love and peace whilst they will steal and murder in their god’s name. There are many ways in absorbing this but it’s truth will remain unknown to mortals. They can only guess but not know.”
“And you know what god is?”
“No, I don’t.” Wisdom turned into a dark shadow fuelling James with ill emotions. Andrew freeing his ideas on James’s shoulders. Proving to him that inside Andrew homed intense wisdom. Forming up words in creative sentences like the colours of a sinister, abstract painting. This gift grew from the unknown cruelty that Andrew trapped inside of him.
The two youths began to enjoy their company with endless chatter. Taking the time to build up the trust between the themselves. As if they had a unbreakable connection. Feeding from each other’s energy. James silently laughing whilst Andrew smiled wickedly. Sharing what they trusted that could be exchanged. Keeping only the deepest secretes chained in the dark. Praying not to escape. Andrew became entertain with the story of everyday behaviour from the world. A routine that Andrew couldn’t find easy to get involved. These facts turning into delightful stories that was able to be touched. Having the illusion being only a reflection of what was seen every night and day. It was Andrews personal task to experience it in person. This was hidden away in Andrew whilst he portrayed himself motionlessly calm. Leaving Andrew as a damaged creature to feel no fear from mortal hands and minds. Nothing had the effects to move him from emotions.
The time flowed fast until both friends realised the lateness of the day. Happily ending the day with pleasant goodbyes. When James left the room, he expected to nearly forget Andrews identity. Thinking that the last minuets would devourer his memory. But Andrew was embossed in James’s mind like a photo album. Holding every part of Andrew’s voice along with his sharp smiles. Collecting the detailed pictures in his head as if they were unable to survive outside.
The time hovered at seven twenty three pm. The night began to approach over the land along with the streets abandoned by the playful children. The air frozen in seconds, leaving James’s veins stone cold. Both ends of the road clouded by the blackness of the night. Only the streetlights could keep the darkness away. Unable to fully devour the surrounding into pitch black. The feeling of a harsh warning came to James with the dark void. Speaking of silent daggers waiting to lunge out. James came near to his house to feel a dangerous pulse near him. Even is James couldn‘t see the deadly shadows spying on him. But it didn’t leave James safer. Just more tense.
After entering his home. His over accomplished father made his presence known. Showing himself at the lounge doorway in a over cleaned business suit. He reeked of wealthy importance and common manners. Believing to have his own son absorbing the same identity. James attempted to escape but failed by his father’s words.
“Your friend has called, someone called Clair wanting to talk to you. James!” James refuse to freeze on the spot by the call of his name. Absorbing the violent pitch of his father’s voice.
“I want a word.”
“Later, I need to talk to my friend.” Finally retreated to his room to be rewarded by the silence. The tempter was rightly levelled, the air perfectly scented. The room was full of safety.
The first response was to call Clair in knowing the reason for her nosiness. Taking his time to dial each number from his phone. The connection between James and Clair was stable enough as they both started to exchange their conversation.
“Clair, it’s me. James.”
“James? Wait a sec…..sorry. So, what’s happening?”
“What do you mean?”
“Let me brake your balls then. What is he like. That stranger from five days. White hair. Is he good looking?” It was humours enough to hear Clair begging for info. Wanting to know the exciting news from James. As a friend he was able to share what Clair desired.
“His alright but strange.”
“Strange as in crazy or just behaving as a loner?”
“Could be both. Look, if your trying to see if his single. It’s not what you want to do. It’s really something that you should be careful of.”
“I’m not that desperate.”
“Aren‘t you? Why on earth would you be asking me to tell you what he’s like then?” Clair’s hesitation proved that James was correct. Knowing that Clair’s curiosity would be concentrated in Andrew. James could only warn what his experience has told him. But it wouldn’t set a final decision for Clair as she made sure her views were heard.
“Okay but he might want to meet other people besides you.”
“Clair. You don’t fully understand on what he is like. There is something about him that can be invited into our area. Just take my word that his needs more time.”
“Alright James. But I’m also calling to see if your alright. We haven’t talked in a while and this wasn’t the best week we’ve had.”
“But it’s not like I’ve got things to do. My parents are desperately trying to control every aspect of my life.”
“Story of your life.” Their conversation flowed in pretty words that combine into a friendly discussion. Lasting near a hour when it turned to the end of the day. James had to retreated to his bed for the next day to return. His body giving in to the need of dark rest. Feeling his weight pulling him down to his bed. Then with the last sight of his room. James surrendered to his dream world full a colourless monsters. To then awake for a colourful world. But what awaited him was eager to feast on him outside of his window.
1.34am, Saturday, 26th May 2012, America, Trafford.
The hospital rushed around aimlessly to prolong life. James being worn out by endless questioning from different people. His mother mentally tearing through him to get every piece of truth. The back luck of having a mother working late in a hospital. The remainder of James’s friends returned to their homes. Filled with distress from night’s cruelness. The strange, insane man was collected as the same with the young man that calls himself Belial. It unfolded a sinister event pressing onward in James’s mind. Freezing his veins cold solid as he sat alone in a chaotic labyrinth made of hospital halls. Madness began to devour the edges of James’s sanity. Thinking of the name ‘Belial’ that flowed in James’s ear. Knowing that the beaten victim stayed in the room in front of him. It felt like there was Pandora’s box holding a innocent curse.
It lasted too long for a few quick questions. Two bold detectives came in with the intention to do their scheduled work. James couldn’t change out of his unpleasant clothing. The many reasons restricted him from that option. Waiting patiently to go home and crawl back under his comfortable rock. Curiosity got the better of James when it crawled up his spine. He took a look through the keyhole without knowing the true upcoming. His eye caught the room brought a dark emotion to the corners of the room. Each medical equipment felt cold as the colour from the walls glowed harshly onto each passing patient. But between the two detectives was a broken soul. A damaged creature unable to grow again. The victim’s white hair hanged long down his back. His eyes beaming in a bright green with faded red. Bruises gathered on his flesh as the other wounds collected over time. Only the flesh stretched around his bones from many years of abuse. James could see this dark character in detail for the first time. Disgusted by the sight of evil inflected onto this poor soul. Sitting upright on his bed with a hospital robe on. The two detectives throwing their words at him with James continued to glare through the keyhole. He jumped back when the damaged young man gazed back as if he knew James was innocently spying on him. Returning to his waiting spot press a hole in his chest with the image of the victim’s face imprinted into James’s head. Infecting him with controlling whispers.
The time stretched long until the two detectives marched out though the door. Both which couldn’t keep a smile. Time was too constructed to waste for the two investigator. Throwing their repeated questioning at James. The first one spoke in tiring words.
“Right, we need another statement from you.” James gave back his repeated story.
“I’ve already gave my side of the story. Me and my friends gone out and found him being beaten up by some crazy nut. I could not understand what he was saying but he tried to attack me. Steve which was with me and was even attacked by the man. Then the man got stabbed.”
“No, the half dead teenager just stabbed him in the back.”
“You mean Belial? So what your saying is that you found this strange man beating up the teenager and then the man attacks you and your friend. Then the man gets stabbed in the back by the victim. I’m I right?” The strong pitch in the detective’s voice grew bitter like any other. Using insulting key points to retake their info. Building it like an indestructible brick wall. The pressure for James tightened around his head. Praying to have this conversation dieing rapidly. Both the detective whispered secretly away from James. Stretching their discussion for an hour. They finally decided to leave without any warning. Fading away from the area. It brought relief to James.
The crowded halls decreased to a haunted empty space over a short time. Leaving James to painfully wait for the day to die. Like a flame on a melting candle. Ready to crawl in his bed and shut out the troubles. The silence from the halls echoed a depressing emotion. Until the silence broke by the cracks and chocking behind the door in front of James. A harsh gargle followed along which couldn’t be ignored. James had the tension to curiously go through the door. Finding the young man hanging himself with the bed sheets. Panic rushed in James to save this tortured creature. Holding him up to prevent his neck braking whilst calling for help. Time was wasting rapidly without anything coming to help. Luckily finding the knotted end of the bed sheets tide to a sturdy pole. James attempted to loosen the knot until the dieing creature fell onto the ground hard, breathing heavily.
James sprinting back to the young man to see no lasting damage. Full of helpfulness to assist this creature, James pulled the young man to his feet until the stranger gave back an aggressive push. James stubble over the fallen chair in shock to again hear his voice.
“You should have not intervened.”
“Your bringing misfortune by saving my life. I do not wish to invite this onto any other.”
“So hanging yourself is the answer?”
“Of course.” The young man’s voice purred too smoothly for suicidal behaviour. Accepting his choice for an unknown reason. But James didn’t see this as any good reason. Attempting to reveal the endless option available for the tormented soul. Hoping to prolong the young man’s life. James started softly first whilst his new friend loosened the noose around his neck.
“Have you got any parents or relatives?”
“If your question involves the idea of a loving relationship to others, then no. My masters prepare me for the tasks that are needed to be done. Love is a liability.”
“Jesus, what have you be listening to?” A sickly hesitation flowed gentle in-between James and the young man. The response came to an expected surprise for James.
“My upbringing was built by a cult. They not capable of loving other people. I dread not to get involve with this violence. But the choice isn‘t available for anyone. I‘m unable to express any other knowledge to anybody.”
“You were in a cult?”
“Born into it without an exit.”
“Well, you can leave now.”
“They will find me.” The difficulty giving this broken boy a new sight on life proved to be challenging. Finding the confession to be too cruel for such youth. But James’s delicate nature driven him to aid the young man.
“There is a good side to life you haven’t seen. You can’t take you life in escaping this. What about those two cops that just visited? They would be able to help.”
“It’s not that simple.” Sitting back onto the bed with a devilish shadow behind him. James joined him whilst carefully putting space between them. Only thinking of giving out comfort to the damaged creature. Time began to tick itself down fast with James feeding his company to the young man. Building an unexpected relationship powered by the need to extend life. The silence pulled away the aggression from the room. Replaced with great calmness. James continued his kindly conversation whilst holding out his hand to the young man.
“My name is James. Are you sure your name is…Belial?”
“It is what they call me.”
“The cult. Right, do you have any other names?”
“No.” James lowered his hand as the responses came bland. But didn’t think of giving up.
“Well, what if you had a better name like, David or Philip or Brian.”
“Like a normal name. Sounds nice.”
“Have any ideas for yourself?”
“You expect me to rename myself?”
“It’s your choice.” The young man paused in deep thought. Keeping an emotionless expression on his face. Finally, he realised his words.
“What about Andrew?”
“Perfect.” The delight from James purred with the young man’s choice in name. Pealing away the hard shell from the punished victim.
“I always found that name beautiful. I just wish that I was blessed with it.”
“Then it’s settled Andrew.” A smile cracked on the strangers face along with James grinning innocently. Rewarding his new friend with a priceless gift. A new part of life forming into a tree. Growing rapidly from the twisted roots to the lively leaves. Each heartbeat kept to the identical rhythm. Beating against their hollowed ribs. Connecting themselves without realising the results of the consequences. Unaware of the outer space of their existence.
James found the clock stuck on two fifty seven in the morning. Panicking about how late he was. He finished examining the room for unexpected results until he caught the sight of his new friend, Andrew.
“I’ll see you another time.” Andrew laughed gentle in response.
“Why are you bothered to involve yourself with me?”
“Because you deserve some company. Get some sleep.” Nearly able to touch the door handle until Andrew called for his name. James stood silent, waiting for Andrew to speak. No words were spoken as Andrew presented his hand to James. Both shaking their hands slowly as confusion flooded James. Andrew explain in a short sentence.
“I apologise if I was too late to reaction to your kindness.” James’s confusion died out as he understood about their handshake. Leaving the room behind him, James sprinted to the reception with the same panic. Fearing that he was coursing his mother to throw petty complaints at him. She only stood near the doors with the urgency to escape. Her golden hair neatly tide up. Wearing a rich brown coat nearly touching the ground. Unable to be still for a second. James was greeted with no sympathy but with feeble discipline.
“I want to know what you have been doing tonight.”
“I’ve just gone out with my friends.”
“And then you found a beating. I don’t like you going out late.”
“I didn’t know I was going to find something like that.” The mother huffed in frustration.
“Look, I’m tired. We can talk about this tomorrow.” Grateful enough to return to their home. James breathed in the cold air which delightfully cooled down his blood.
Trapped in his own thoughts. James focused on what Andrew’s words predicted in small warnings. As if it desired to be noticed. Unfolding the clues to reveal more annoying setbacks. Pressing against the blank spot his head to make himself understand. It took James’s entire concentration which left him with an impression on lifelessness. And with this depressing scene came a joyful blowing plant. Waiting to be admired by concealed eyes. Only to be picked, placed in a jar and then die. Sometimes, it came to a sinister end for any mystery character if they not guided. Time had to paste for this future to reveal itself.
this was to be included into my final piece (in a film). i just thought up what a violin has inside when played.